I have had several inquiries about how to practice DD when you have children around. My Hubby and I have not been blessed with children, so I don't have any first hand experience in this matter. If you do DD and have children in the home, Please email me and let me know how you do it. I'll update this post with answers. my email address is lisasjoydd@gmail.com. Thanks
_____Here are some of the responses I've received_______
Dear Lisa,
I assume that the question has to do with the
part of the DD Lifestyle, because being a 
wife is easy to do around kids. In fact it think it's vital for mothers and fathers to set the example of male and female roles. My husband and I have three kids. When they were babies, we just put them down for naps and locked ourselves in our finished basement when I needed a . If they heard anything, they were too young to really know what was happening. The preschool years were the hardest. Often my discipline would have to wait until after bed time and I would cry into a pillow to keep the sounds from escaping the basement. Not that all our kids are in school, it's much easier. My husband works close to home so he comes home for lunch. When were home alone anything is possible. He feels that its better for me to cry uninhibited, so most of the times I get my s during the lunch hour. Let me tell you its no fun sitting on a sore 
while eating your lunch. But it works quite well. There are still times when I get 
at night, then we use the pillow as a muffler.Hope that helps.
--Happy mom
***
Dear Lisa, We have an outdoor workshop that is pretty sound proof. My husband simply asks me to go look for a tool in the shop and I know that I'm in trouble. I go to the shed, remove my pants and
and wait for my hubby to come. He normally gets the kids busy doing something then slips away. He unlocks the shed, and deals with my 
. We've tested sound and indeed there's no way the kids will ever hear me crying in there. Its even easier when the kids are in bed. sometimes he will even lead me to the shed and un dress me himself.--Farmer Mom
***
Hello fellow DD enthusiasts. Yes I understand your concerns about kids. It was hard for my Husband and I to practice DD when we had preschoolers. We had to wait until night time, then be very quiet so as not to wake the kids, or for serious offenses my hubby would tell me, "you'd better find a babysitter for tonight." That always made me shutter.
But don't worry, this time will pass. as soon as your kids are in school you have the house all to yourself for at least 7 hours a day. It's not uncommon for my husband to sent me a text telling mt to get
and pretty soon he's home to minister to me. And this freedom is not only used for . I believe it is important to offer my body to him 
on a regular basis. SO often I will serve him lunch 
, or tease him by wearing only and bra when he gets home. When the school buss pulls into the road, I quickly get dressed and meet the kids as if nothing had happened.Enjoy,
Love Enthusiastic
***
Lisa, we use a little code. When my hubby thinks I'm out of line he writes a heart on whatever is at hand. This serves as a warning that I'm in trouble. it catches my attention and almost always makes me stop doing whatever I'm doing wrong. The kids just think its an expression of love, and probably wonder why it calms me down so quickly. When I see that, I know that I'm in trouble and once the kids are in bed or otherwise out of the house, we go to the quietest room on the house and he deals with me.
--anonymous
***
We have no real quiet place to practice DD. our apartment is rather small. We use two things, Date nights, and capsaicin cream. If I'm needing Hubby's dicsipline, but not urgently, he will ask me to get sitter. Alternatively, he may suggest a date night. We drop the kids at my parent's house, then drive to a deserted location where he deals with me either outside or in the back seat of the car. I'm probably the only girl who gets nervous when her hubby suggests a date night! To be fair, not all date nights are for dicsipliine, My hubby is quite the romantic and plans some wonderful dates. But those he just calls a "date." "Dates" are good, "Date nights" well lets just say they're not so fun for me. But "date night" only works for the type of disciipline that can be delayed for a while, where the anticipation is considered part of the punnishmment. For the more urgent situations, hubby pulls me into the bathroom, locks the door, pulls down my
and puts me over his knee just like I'm getting a. then, with a paddle, he rubs capsaicin cream all over my bottom. That makes my bottom hot like it's been freshly . he makes me stand in the corner, with my hands on my head, turns on the shower to mask his voice, then quietly scolds me. Standing there in a juvenile position with my rear end on fire being scolded, usually brings me to tears, especially when he tells me that I may not clean off the cream until after our "date night." When it's done I pull up my and get dressed. I have to go through my day with the heat in my seat reminding me that I'm going to have it renewed that evening, very effective. ;-(
***
Dear parents in DD, I have two words, Baby Sitter. Problem solved.
Love, Brief.
PS two more words that may help some, "Grand Parents"
***
Hi Lisa, I'm an especially lucky DD mom. I have a neighbor, a few doors down who also practices DD. We're friends and her kids and mine are too. We watch each other's kids all the time. When I'm in trouble I just send them to play with their friends. Or if I have painful evening coming up, they may do a sleepover. The kids love going to each other's house and have never questioned it. When I send them I send her a text and when it's safe for them to come home I text her again. This is a reciprocal agreement and I often find myself suddenly watching her kids. I tell you, having a DD friend is awesome!
--Friend
*** Here's one with a little different perspective. ***
Dearest Lisa, I do not understand what the issue is here. As I've read the replies of your readers it looks like they all have very creative ways of keeping secrets from their children, but why? If DD is the way God designed that marriages should be happy, shouldn't we want to be good role models to our children?
My husband and I started DD far before it was a "thing." We found the Biblical counsel and tried it and found the positive results that everyone on this page knows so well. When we had our first child we never considered hidings from her, anymore than we would hide, hugs, kisses and complements. After all DD is just another expression of love "whom the Lord LOVES, he rebukes and chastens." In fact 3 days after she was born, my husband soundly me 
right in front of her. After he finished, I had to stand in the corner while I nursed her.
We have raised five children three girls and two boys. We raised them in a very loving home where there was a clear role order. The kids didn't think it was strange when I was anymore than when they were. We taught then that discipline was kept in the family and that they were never to speak of it outside our family.
We had a very authority structure. I was over the kids, my husband was over me, and God was over him. As a stay at home mom I was the most common one to
the kids, although my husband did so when needed, especially if they disrespected me. My husband was the only one to me. When the older children got old enough to babysit their siblings, they were permitted to their siblings only when I or my husband had set them in charge. The only question that the kids often asked was "who s Daddy?" We would respond that God is the one who dicsiplines daddy.
[PLEASE NOTE: I have truncated this response because it is rather long. I have posted this lady's whole response here]
*** ANOTHER WIFE AGREES***
We are open about our DD relationship with our kids. In our family is considered private. If I or my kids need one we are sent to our room. That way our kids have never seen me , but they have heard me cry from a . It seems natural and our kids are just fine with it.
*** Getting caught (09/2017)***
Hi Lisa,
I just read your post about DD with children in the home. Even though you posted it a long time ago I thought you'd like my perspective. I hope it's not too late to respond.
Me and Hub tried to keep our DD secret from our Childrens for the first 3 1/2 years. We have 4 childrens. First a girl, then our only boy and finally our twin girls. We used many of the techniques listed in the other people's comments, like baby sitters and using another room. When our twins finally went to school, we thought we were home free. Hub works flexible hours near home, so the discipline, as well as showing off for him, happened during those precious school hours. But when they were 10, 8 and 7 we got caught. I was getting during school hours and Hub got called away on some urgent business. He didn't think it would take very long so he sent me to the corner to wait for him to come back and finish my 
. When I'm standing in the corner, I lose all sense of time. It took a lot longer than we had anticipated, and when the childrens were dropped off by the bus and came barging in they were shocked to find me standing in the corner.
"Mommy, what are you doing?" they demanded innocently.
My mind whirled, what should I do? My first instinct was to pull up my pants and run away, but I realized that it was too late for that, they'd already seen me. I almost turned out of the corner to look at them but then I realized that that would set a bad example. I decided that the only thing to do was tell the truth. Trying to sound calm and confident I mumbled into the corner, "I'm standing in timeout."
"But why?" my son asked, "why's your
down?" my eldest daughter asked. "Why is your bummie pink, mommy, does it hurt?" one of the twins asked, sympathetically rubbing my 
. "Were you 
?" the other twin wanted to know.
I was mortified as they peppered me with questions. I kept my nose in the corner partly because I they knew that that was expected when they were in time out, and mostly because I didn't want them seeing anymore of my embarrassing condition. Finally they stopped asking questions long enough for me to explain. "I was, so Daddy was 
me." I began trying to sound matter of fact, as if this was nothing new, which it wasn't--at least to me. "Then Daddy got a call from work and thought he'd only be gone a few minutes so he sent my here to the corner to wait for him to finish."
For the next few minutes I explained that Daddies are in charge of mommies, and just like children sometimes needs, mommy's do too. I told them that before I started letting daddy 
me we fought a lot, and our home was not a happy place. The two older childrens remembered that time. They had had no idea why things suddenly got so much happier in our home. I was surprised at how easily they accepted it. When I explained that Daddy answers to God, and I answer to Daddy and the childrens answer to daddy and mommy, they thought made perfect sense. Then they wondered how much I got and why they never knew about it.
Finally I was able to send them off to play while I nursed my wounded pride. The only one having a big problem with this was me.
When Hub got home the childrens ran to greet him like normal. After the initial greeting, one of the twins said, "Mommy say you hafta her. But she's been good, she never leaved timeout. I watched."
Hub was surprised to see me still standing in the corner. He asked me what happened and I quickly told him. "Well," he said matter of factly, "I guess the cat's out of the bag now, no reason to keep it a secret anymore." then, right in front of our childrens, he took me by the hand, led me over to couch and put me over his knee. He made me confess my to him again then finished my . I tried to be brave at first but soon I gave in and wailed like a little girl.
When tt was all over, Hub reminded the childrens that
is a family thing and that there would be dire consequences if any of them breathed a word about this to anyone outside the family.
From that day on, our was handled openly in the family. As embarrassing as it is to be p u n i s h e d in front of your own flesh and blood, I soon got kind of used to it. And it did make things a lot easier. Instead of planning sessions, it just happens as needed.
It has also had the added advantage of keeping my eldest daughter from claiming to be "too old to" After all, if her mom isn't then she definitely isn't.
Gigi
*** EDITOR'S NOTE***
Dear Gigi, thanks for sending your unique, and embarrassing story. It's never too late to send your responses, I just update the post. BTW, that gives me an idea. Maybe I should ask about people's most embarrassing moment in DD.
Lisa
***
Hi Lisa, I'm an especially lucky DD mom. I have a neighbor, a few doors down who also practices DD. We're friends and her kids and mine are too. We watch each other's kids all the time. When I'm in trouble I just send them to play with their friends. Or if I have painful evening coming up, they may do a sleepover. The kids love going to each other's house and have never questioned it. When I send them I send her a text and when it's safe for them to come home I text her again. This is a reciprocal agreement and I often find myself suddenly watching her kids. I tell you, having a DD friend is awesome!
--Friend
*** Here's one with a little different perspective. ***
Dearest Lisa, I do not understand what the issue is here. As I've read the replies of your readers it looks like they all have very creative ways of keeping secrets from their children, but why? If DD is the way God designed that marriages should be happy, shouldn't we want to be good role models to our children?
My husband and I started DD far before it was a "thing." We found the Biblical counsel and tried it and found the positive results that everyone on this page knows so well. When we had our first child we never considered hiding
s from her, anymore than we would hide, hugs, kisses and complements. After all DD is just another expression of love "whom the Lord LOVES, he rebukes and chastens." In fact 3 days after she was born, my husband soundly me right in front of her. After he finished, I had to stand in the corner while I nursed her.We have raised five children three girls and two boys. We raised them in a very loving home where there was a clear role order. The kids didn't think it was strange when I was
anymore than when they were. We taught then that discipline was kept in the family and that they were never to speak of it outside our family.We had a very authority structure. I was over the kids, my husband was over me, and God was over him. As a stay at home mom I was the most common one to
the kids, although my husband did so when needed, especially if they disrespected me. My husband was the only one to me. When the older children got old enough to babysit their siblings, they were permitted to their siblings only when I or my husband had set them in charge. The only question that the kids often asked was "who s Daddy?" We would respond that God is the one who dicsiplines daddy.[PLEASE NOTE: I have truncated this response because it is rather long. I have posted this lady's whole response here]
*** ANOTHER WIFE AGREES***
We are open about our DD relationship with our kids. In our family
is considered private. If I or my kids need one we are sent to our room. That way our kids have never seen me , but they have heard me cry from a . It seems natural and our kids are just fine with it.*** Getting caught (09/2017)***
Hi Lisa,
I just read your post about DD with children in the home. Even though you posted it a long time ago I thought you'd like my perspective. I hope it's not too late to respond.
Me and Hub tried to keep our DD secret from our Childrens for the first 3 1/2 years. We have 4 childrens. First a girl, then our only boy and finally our twin girls. We used many of the techniques listed in the other people's comments, like baby sitters and using another room. When our twins finally went to school, we thought we were home free. Hub works flexible hours near home, so the discipline, as well as showing off for him
, happened during those precious school hours. But when they were 10, 8 and 7 we got caught. I was getting during school hours and Hub got called away on some urgent business. He didn't think it would take very long so he sent me to the corner to wait for him to come back and finish my . When I'm standing in the corner, I lose all sense of time. It took a lot longer than we had anticipated, and when the childrens were dropped off by the bus and came barging in they were shocked to find me standing in the corner."Mommy, what are you doing?" they demanded innocently.
My mind whirled, what should I do? My first instinct was to pull up my pants and run away, but I realized that it was too late for that, they'd already seen me
. I almost turned out of the corner to look at them but then I realized that that would set a bad example. I decided that the only thing to do was tell the truth. Trying to sound calm and confident I mumbled into the corner, "I'm standing in timeout.""But why?" my son asked, "why's your
down?" my eldest daughter asked. "Why is your bummie pink, mommy, does it hurt?" one of the twins asked, sympathetically rubbing my . "Were you ?" the other twin wanted to know.I was mortified as they peppered me with questions. I kept my nose in the corner partly because I they knew that that was expected when they were in time out, and mostly because I didn't want them seeing anymore of my embarrassing condition. Finally they stopped asking questions long enough for me to explain. "I was
, so Daddy was me." I began trying to sound matter of fact, as if this was nothing new, which it wasn't--at least to me. "Then Daddy got a call from work and thought he'd only be gone a few minutes so he sent my here to the corner to wait for him to finish."For the next few minutes I explained that Daddies are in charge of mommies, and just like children sometimes need
s, mommy's do too. I told them that before I started letting daddy me we fought a lot, and our home was not a happy place. The two older childrens remembered that time. They had had no idea why things suddenly got so much happier in our home. I was surprised at how easily they accepted it. When I explained that Daddy answers to God, and I answer to Daddy and the childrens answer to daddy and mommy, they thought made perfect sense. Then they wondered how much I got and why they never knew about it.Finally I was able to send them off to play while I nursed my wounded pride. The only one having a big problem with this was me.
When Hub got home the childrens ran to greet him like normal. After the initial greeting, one of the twins said, "Mommy say you hafta
her. But she's been good, she never leaved timeout. I watched."Hub was surprised to see me still standing
in the corner. He asked me what happened and I quickly told him. "Well," he said matter of factly, "I guess the cat's out of the bag now, no reason to keep it a secret anymore." then, right in front of our childrens, he took me by the hand, led me over to couch and put me over his knee. He made me confess my to him again then finished my . I tried to be brave at first but soon I gave in and wailed like a little girl.When tt was all over, Hub reminded the childrens that
is a family thing and that there would be dire consequences if any of them breathed a word about this to anyone outside the family.From that day on, our
was handled openly in the family. As embarrassing as it is to be p u n i s h e d in front of your own flesh and blood, I soon got kind of used to it. And it did make things a lot easier. Instead of planning sessions, it just happens as needed.It has also had the added advantage of keeping my eldest daughter from claiming to be "too old to
" After all, if her mom isn't then she definitely isn't.Gigi
*** EDITOR'S NOTE***
Dear Gigi, thanks for sending your unique, and embarrassing story. It's never too late to send your responses, I just update the post. BTW, that gives me an idea. Maybe I should ask about people's most embarrassing moment in DD.
Lisa
